Long story short:
Wake up: 3:37, the alarm was set for 3:35, and I somehow manager to sleep through two minutes of it. That’s when you know.
Holy mother the guys are up: Anushka and I were prepared to knock on the guys (Ben’s) door in order to wake them up, but to our surprise everyone was already up! I’m so proud.
Five hour bus ride: Everyone stopped by the baijia to get some last minute food, and then we loaded on the bus for the five our drive to Shanghai.
Check in: My suitcase was only 16.6 kilos; I’m so proud of myself. Also there was a panda store in the airport, so you better believe I hit that place up.
Not this time TSA: TSA didn’t want to give me my boarding pass again because my name didn’t match, but ha ha I have a photocopy of my old passports.
Back to America: Josie, Helena, Anushka, Emma, Densley, and I were all able to sit together on the plane. There were some interesting conversations that took place, but the best part of the plane ride was probably the angry flight attendants.
You’re blocking the isle: The four of use with isle seats were sitting in the seats when on one of the flight attendants walks by with one of the carts. She turns to us and say “Don’t block the isle.” She then turned to Anushka and said “getting hit by one of these is painful.” Like what you trying to say?? We were sitting in our seats and you’re going to tell us we’re being disrespectful??
Sit down (be humble): Okay, yes we should not pile five people into a three person seat, but we weren’t blocking the isles. All you had to do was calmly tell us to go back to our seats; there was no reason to yell. I mean in retrospect, we were probably being a little disrespectful and slightly obnoxious, but a calm: "please go back to your seats is all it would have taken.
Is he your boyfriend? So Ben came to our group of seats so he could get Anushka to sign his “yearbook”, and while she was doing that, I told him he could sit down in my seat. I sat on the air on the seat and had my arm around his shoulder so I could balance. I asked Ben to tell me a story, and he then proceeded to recount his love life to me for thirty minutes. (Most people just tell me a two sentence story and call it a day, so thanks for that Ben). But back to the point, Ben was midway through the story when a flight attendant starts starting at us. I mumbled under my breath for her to stop staring and she goes: “Excuse me, is he your boyfriend?” In a state of shock and also annoyance, I look her dead in the eyes and say: “yes.” Ben quickly tries to deny this, but it’s too late. This woman started reprimanding us and told us that “this was not our bedroom” and that “there are children on this plane.” We are in a “public space” and our behavior is “absolutely inappropriate.” We both kind of stare at her and I told her that Ben wasn’t actually my boyfriend, and she calmed down like 10%. But also, wft? So I need your approval to put my arm around someone? And it’s only okay as long as I’m not dating that person? Okay, chill with that. Tbh, I should have turned to Josie and said: “no, she’s my girlfriend.”
Customs card: In order to re-enter the US, you have to fill out a card declaring what you are bring back with you. I ended up misplacing mine, so I rang for one of the flight attendants and asked her if she could bring me a new one. She looks at me and goes: no. Who peed in your cereal?
Snuggles: Snuggle puddles are the best.
Betrayal: Prindle and Marshall watched Rent without me.
Sickness and pain: I may or may not have a cold (does bringing my diseased body into the US count as “disease agents?”) Basically I can’t breath and I lost my voice. Everyone kept telling me I sounded like a chain smoker, so thanks guys. But the best is yet to come. On the descent down, my ears wouldn’t pop because of my sinuses, so I had a wonderful build-up of pressure that caused me extreme pain to the point of sobbing. My jaw also locked up so that was fun. This bitchy flight attendant kept asking Margie why I was crying. Like bruh leave me alone. (Also Prindle said I cry in the key of D, so that's great I guess.)
Landing: The baggage claim broke like five times, and some people ended up missing their connecting flight because the plane from Shanghai took off an hour later than expected. Also, because we have two 15-year-olds, they had to be escorted through the airport lol.
Oh my Ben: Ben left his saxophone in the baggage claim area, and as Naomi and I are leaving, we see him sprinting back. He stops and asks the security lady if he can go back and get his sax and she demands his passport. After he gives it to her, he asks if he can leave his luggage with her while he runs to get it, and this girl snatched his life. She said: “I am not your babysitter; take your own stuff with you.” Get wrecked.
Getting lost: Why are the staff at SFO so mean? Like I’m sorry that we got lost; mark your signs better please.
TSA: ugh.
Goodbyes: Naomi, Prindle, and Potato sat with me at my gate until I had to board.
SFO to Denver: lol I slept through this whole flight and didn’t even realize it.
Denver to Memphis: Why is my gate literally a mile away from my landing? I can’t complain; none of my flights were delayed, and I might be landing in Memphis early. When this is all said and done, I’ll have been traveling for 31 hours. China why.
Home: Ngl I started sobbing as soon as the plane wheels touched down on the runway. I didn’t think I’d be this happy to be home again. I cried when I saw my parents and friends (I should have seen that one coming). Also I have the best friends ever because they drove to the airport at 9:00 at night just to see me. They even brought me pickles and potato chips. What wonderful nuggets.
The end.